MySQL server has gone away - Not updating to Recent

So now the host is saying that it's absolutely, positively eFiction's fault.

Before we tell them to go f-themselves and find a new host, is there anything besides a lack of connections that you guys think could be causing this?

ETA: One of the other admins used the phone support and after threatening to take our money and run, we got to talk to someone who wasn't a friggin' moron. So here's here rundown of what he said:

He said that you need to check the connections to make sure they are closing all the way. That the error seems to happen sometime in the split second of posting the chapter and it effects what happens after the chapter is at least posted to the story. He said hes not sure if posting to the most recent, sending the e-mail, and posting the chapter are all done in the same same connection or not. But that if it's done in separate connections, the error in the first one, is causing the hang up and then the server isnt allowing the second connection to open.

I'm trying to read through stories.php to see what does what, but it's Greek to me.

It's all the same connection.  Unless you've added something that needs to connect to a separate database (highly unlikely) e-fiction uses the same connection throughout and then lets the server automatically close the connection when the script finishes.

So likely this is a case of them farking with the parameters of how long a connection can stay open?

Yeah.  The only thing I can think to try is turning off the e-mail notifications to see if maybe a failed e-mail is somehow closing the connection and that's a Hail Mary idea.

Well, we are having massive issues with the e-mail server. (Thanks InMotion  :roll:)
I tried setting everyone's preferences to no, and it looks like less people are having the issue.